hi all, just gave up my part time job and tomorrow is my last day of work. i'm so nervous about it and i'm still left wondering have i made the right decision. i started back to work in june and when i was at work my husband minded to children. which was great.recently though his work has been even more crazy than normal and as he was minding children three mornings he made up the increased time he needed to spend at work in the evenings and anytime possible really. so we haven't been spending that much time together recently. last wk end was sick and decided to give my notice. now i'm feeling better wondering am doing the right thing?
the reason went back to work was to have some time away from kids which was great appreciated having them. missing them when at work made me a better mom i think.. if ya know what i mean. another reason for working was i hated the vacant looks and the attitude i got from people when i said i was a stay at home mom. don't know if anyone on site has experinced that. people looking at you like your nothing and treating you like you sit down and watch tele all day.. i even hate the labels for it when i said i was career women who is staying home with the children to car insurance company i was devastated to hear the man on phone say oh right so your a house wife.. i thought i married my husband not my house!! help is a disaster looming next week when i have to face all that again. will say looking forward to more time with hubby.
I know how you feel!!! This time last year I made the decision not to go back to work. It took me a lot of sleepless nights and reassurance from others that I was doing the right thing to make the final decision. I suppose what I found helpful was actually sitting down and writing up a list of the pros and cons of both staying at home and going back to work, and trying to work out what was the most realistic option. It's a hard thing to do when you've got to take you, your hubby and your kids into account and work out what's best for all of you.
I know what you mean about "the vacant looks and the attitude i got from people when i said i was a stay at home mom". When I went to the doctor on Monday I had to fill out a form because it was our first time there. When it came to the bit where I had to fill out my career, I just sat there looking at it for about five minutes thinking, "what the hell do I put here?" I feel too young to be a house-wife(!) so I put 'Homemaker' down, which sounds crappy too. I guess the difficult, but important thing, to do just look at things from your point of view and to hell with whatever anybody else thinks. They're not living your life! It's very easy for those who have never been in your position and who don't have kids to look at you vacantly when you say you're a stay at home mom. Try not to let the ignorant attitudes of others get you down. Remember, it'll probably happen to many of them someday too and then they'll understand exactly what it's like.
I know it can be hard been stuck indoors with the kids all day. There are days when I just want to scream at Daniel because he's wrecking my head, and I'm sure he's sick of the sight of me too! Remember, we're all here for you and if you need any help, just call! Please don't forget that.
thanks alot clodagh and dors {for your text}, feel a bit better knowing its not just me who hates those labels. homemaker definately sounds better , like you actually do something! enjoyed the rant as its what i feel like doing. people just don't get the whole stay at home thing. in my professional occupation i'm used to working with up to eight children with behavioural problems. But its much harder staying at home as your so emotionally envolved and you want to be the best mom ever. some days you are and sometimes don't quite get there. staying at home means you are the constant one and have to hold everything together.
much easier working full time when you have no kids and everyone respects you. working part time people often want more of you and when you can't met their requests due to childcare constraints can be seen as not committed to your job. women who work full time and have children are just supermoms to me. trying to do it all. though sounds exhausting!!
anyway had final day, was upset when my clients started to cry, was trying to empower them that they would be fine. then got in car and forgot to take hand break off for nearly a mile. i'm such a sap. new week new me and hopefully a happier family.
When I had Hylke I was in college full time and working part time in a very dynamic and demanding job........it has taken me nearly a year to come to terms with my own choice, and even now every now and again I have to be reminded of the reasons why I chose this route. (especially on those days where hylke seems to be completely fed up with me and happy to be with perfect strangers)
Anyway, unfortunately there are very many people that do not understand how ungrateful a job it can be.....
one thing that reminds me of why I made the choice to stay at home is in the early morning while Hylke and me are having a nice sit down breakfast together. I often see the neighbours, shove their babies in the car to bring to the creche. And then in the evening when they return just in time for diner, a bath and bed, while Hylke and me have just spend the afternoon playing or going out for walks, coffee, and meeting other moms, I can only be happy for not returning to college or that job that however nice and respected it was, did not even come close in challenge or reward as raising Hylke is....................................
I hope knowing that your not the only one helps a bit.....Take care and hopefully see you soon
Really really respect you for deciding to be a "Stay at home Mom" and its great that you have the choice but some of us aren't that lucky. Nothing would make me happier than to be able to stay at home even part time with Ella but with a Mortgage and the price of living today that is just not possible at this stage.
Things are working out semi ok regarding getting up and out in the morning. We all leave together and all come back home together.
The BEST thing about this situation for both myself and Ella is that she is getting unlimited INTERACTION with other children her age and she is NOTonly seeing my face all day every day and to be honest I think she is MORE APPRECIATIVE of us in the evenings and at weekends.
I am glad that your decision was the right one for you and hope that it all works out for you. And for all the Girls like myself who are "FULL TIME WORKING MOMS" keep up the GOOD WORK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Funny how it is so easy to get caught up in one view that you miss out on others. You are absolutely right Gillian in saying that not all have the option to choose for staying at home full time. I have been doubting my choice for staying home for a long time and was so busy with that, that I forgot about the luxury of having the choice. Thanks for reminding me. I am very happy your new situation is working out for you and Ella, I guess in the end it is all about finding a balance that fits your family and circomstances........take care and hopefully see you and Ella again soon
thanks for all the support. being a mom full stop isn't easy. your always trying to juggle a number of things. i suppose as i said full timeworking mom's are supermom's to me.but i feel i don't even have that option. my husband works long hours. often leaving at nine in morning and returning at four in the middle of night. i often tell people i'm a married single mother. we wouldn't be at home together very often or even at all some weeks if i worked full time. hence the reason i gave up part time as i wanted us to spend sometime as a family, and as long as you have that everything works. wish my husband worked normal hours and i had option of working full time to make up difference in money. i loved the fact that kids were so happy to see me when i came home and i had opportunity to miss them and really appreciate them. hope they don't get sick of me now. the real thing is that modern life with high mortagages etc doesn't give us all the choices we would like to make for us and our families. keep up good work all the mammies.. no matter what way you have to work it..
laura here. i guess i;m lucky because i get to go back to work part time which i hope will be the ideal situation, i think i would love to be off for longer but circumstances dictate. I often remind myself that these years are so short and precious and i have years and years ahead of me back in the workforce, not sure if that is cheering or not but the years zip by and being stay at home now is just for now and not forever, especially if you don't want it to be!
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